After reports of stricter phone rules in classrooms, the Household Education Caucus called for a parallel ban on vacuum cleaners during all known learning hours. Cats argued that if students deserve quiet attention, so do citizens studying dust motes, window birds, and the complex social behavior of paper bags.
The proposal would restrict vacuum use to posted office hours and require a two-room warning before activation. Human officials declined to comment, citing a rug that needed help. The caucus called that answer "exactly the problem."